My subconscious is not my friend. I don't watch Heroes for two nights and both of these nights pass scream-free and without a single incident of Heroes-related-ranting. Yet last night I read some of the Heroes graphic novel Jen bought me for my birthday and I screamed in my sleep.

Who the fuck has tv show nightmares??? How old am I, three???? *disdain*

I like working the day shifts on Thursdays. It's so much more peaceful and I tend to enjoy myself more. Except when I get a crazy customer rambling about scuba gear. Even the other customers were giving him strong wtf? looks. It's akin to going to Egypt and asking for ski gear.

I have eaten so much damn junk food the past three days, I despise myself.

Have started reading Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel. So far I am enjoying it, even if I have to keep reminding myself of the positives of life. Not everything is as bleak as it sometimes seems - especially in an autobiography about depression.

I want to lie on my bed and congeal and not have to worry about assignments. Rar.

Oh God. I just watched the preview for the Twilight movie and it gave me goosebumps. Originally I was quite sceptical about it, but that preview is soooo alluring. Guh.



I've already started dreaming about Breaking Dawn. But I blame that on reading a preview copy of The Host, Stephenie Meyer's book for adult readers. It was pretty good. I had my doubts because the content seemed a little tacky, but she really pulled it off. It's about an alien invasion of Earth where these parasites take over our bodies - and the aliens win. Wanda, one of the aliens, gets put in the body of Melanie and Melanie's mind doesn't disappear like she should. So this awkward love square forms between all these characters. I had no idea how it was going to end for a while.

Today I had hot chocolate at the Lindt Café in the city. The make it with melted chocolate *drools*

It's been so rainy and lovely. I bought a beanie to keep my head warm [and hide unruly hair]. I like the city when it rains.

Tonight I finished The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger and now I ache. Deep inside, I ache. It is cold and I want to curl into a ball and submerge myself in the emotions.

This is the paradox of my love for books. The ones I truly love haunt me. They make my stomach clench and my heart ache. But I will never stop reading them.

Every Thursday night the local pub has karaoke so as I walk from work to my car I am serenaded by the sound of drunk bogans singing AC/DC. I park on the opposite side of the train station and I can hear it all the way there.

Apparently, dad has 'turned a corner' as of today. He is off sedation and responding, off dialysis and they are considering taking him off the respirator. I, however, have not seen this for myself as the god damn staff in the ICU screwed me around this morning and resulted in me crying some very pissed off tears.

Finished The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak a few days ago. It's a brilliant book, I highly recommend it to everyone. Although it is set in Nazi Germany and is narrated by Death, it isn't as soul-crushing as I thought it would be. There is tragedy, but it is also filled with so much beauty and witty humour. Death has my sense of humour. It's very readable and combines eloquence with simplicity.

Next on my list is Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella. It's chick lit but I thought I needed some brain fluff after all the heavy things I have been reading.

I have an assignment due in five days where I have to compare two feature layouts - one I love and one I hate. I'm looking forward to it, if I can just be bothered actually doing it lol. It's a creative assignment where my opinion matters.

I finished The Amber Spyglass by Phillip Pullman today. The book is pretty good, though I would have liked there to be more gay angels in it. Just sayin'. It's so frustrating when my desire to read outstrips my body's patience. I end up in a constant state of impatience and restlessness. If I'm not reading I'm wanting to read but when I am reading my body is fussing and wanting me to stop.

Work was good today, I just had this awesome vibe going on. I felt good. Then one of my several stalkage victims known as Leather Jacket Guy came in and I served him and pretty much flailed all over him. I think he may have gone to the Iron Maiden concert last night but I didn't think of this till he left. He must think I am a hyperactive nutcase though. Katie laughed at me. Am I that transparent? I guess so. I either am so fiercely self-conscious that I can barely look at the person or ridiculously hyped up like a squirrel on Red Bull.

On the news tonight it showed how all the rivers in New South Wales are overflowing with water again. To see the stark contrast between the muddy puddles and the raging waters was surprisingly emotional. Our land is living again. Then some tard had to say climate change had nothing to do with it.

Why will humanity only conceed to something once it's too late?

Saw Cloverfield last night. It was good, but it's the sort of movie you can only fully enjoy if you are really aware of the viral marketing that occured. And considering Australia didn't really get any of that, I left the movie feeling really unfulfilled. It's the type of movie that's good once you go home and research it.

To be honest, I think having the major twist disguised as audio that you need to listen to backwards is going a little too far.

Finished The Subtle Knife, the second book in Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy today. I'm pretty speechless about it. When I read one bit I was so shocked I had to stop reading it. And I now understand why Christians are so upset at this book. At first I thought it was just because the Church is portrayed as the bad guy, but then when I read this one I was like "ohhhh, that's bad."

I had this hot nerdy scene-ish boy at a bookstore talk to me today! Caitlin and I went into Angus and Roberston and I told her how I want to start the Eragon series and suddenly this employee is like "oh I wouldn't do that unless you are willing to wait four years for it to finish" *proceeds to spend ten minutes suggesting books for me while Caitlin flaps behind a bookshelf* I didn't know if I should tell him I worked in a bookstore myself, it could either have been a bonding thing or a conversation killer because I work for the competition. Denied.

Am now reading Jasper Fforde's First Among Sequels.

After a mini spending spree, I am too scared to look at my bank account in case the damage is worse than I suspect. Stupid cheap underwear tricking me into buying you. Mutters.

Currently reading Girls Guide to Vampires by Kate Macalister and am borderline ashamed. It's complete fluff, and not even very well written fluff. The character interactions are so utterly ridiculous. Nobody talks like that! But then again, it IS a romance novel so what did I expect? Ian McEwan? Charles Dickens? I will redeem myself by reading Wuthering Heights, The Memory Keeper's Daughter and Prozac Nation.

I am so tired. We had a massive storm here yesterday and it freaked the boys out, resulting in Tom getting stuck on the neighbour's roof in the middle of the night. So at 1am I am climbing a ladder, in my pyjama's, in someone else's yard. I could have killed him. Whereas Tux turns into a ball of cat and is only happy if he is in my arms or in my closet. I need to get him one of those baby carriers you strap to your chest.

I keep having random Frank-related dreams and I don't know why.

Ang came into work today. It's physically impossible to see her without Scott in tow. Sometimes I worry I'm being neurotic, but who else does she regularly hang with? No one. Whereas I at least have three friends I try to see about once a week.

My head hurts. Lets just say I am keeping Nurofen in business. Mum and Aunty V grate on my nerves so much I feel like Mrs Bennet in Pride and Prejudice.

Today I saw Atonement with Caitlin at Hoyts. It's a pretty good movie, though no where near as haunting as the book. The book is just so complex and the concepts so intricate that it's very difficult to display them properly on the screen. The main twist only really hits if you are reading it.

Back to work tomorrow, these two days off have been refreshing. I am no longer exhausted just thinking about it. My to-read list grows ever longer. Currently, I am reading the fourth book in the Thursday Next series: Something Rotten by Jasper Fforde. The next will probably be Prozac Nation which has been sitting in my pile under the desk at work for two months.

Things feel good.

Finished reading We Need To Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver. The beginning was too slow and I found the writing excessively verbose and a little dry. But by the end it was really good. Although I suspected the twist, it was still chilling to read it.

Next book to be read is Something Rotten by Jasper Fforde, though I do not have the money to buy it yet. Damn Christmas shopping.

While cooking pasta tonight I was struck with a sudden feeling of nostalgia. I wasn't really aching for something tangible, like high school or pre9/11 or anything like that. I missed what I have labelled The Harry Potter Days. Flashes of memory of reading each of those books for the first time. Crisp breezes, light sun. Smiles and excitement.

As ridiculous as it sounds, Harry Potter was my adolescence. The ten years of my life where I'm old enough to comprehend things and have proper memories.

Sad, but true.

I want Harry back.

Hanging with Jen is fantastic. We watched This Is Spinal Tap, Say Anything, Almost Famous and The Blues Brothers, and we laughed our asses off. We didn't get to sleep until after 2am because we couldn't stop ranting about stuff that is only meaningful to us. We are the female versions of Wayne and Garth, Jake and Elwood. We sit there, choking on laughter, constantly shouting "OMG THAT IS WHAT WE DO!!!" The line "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses" has become the official slogan for our Chemical Holiday.

She picked me up after work yesterday and drove me home this afternoon when the trains weren't working and mum wouldn't get me. It was just plain awesome.

As always, now that I am home I am slightly grouchy. I hate being reminded how bored and lonely I am here. And I am always cold here. My hands or my feet are always cold. I'm not cold at Jen's. Stupid lack of heating.

I finished Twilight when I got home, so that's also adding to my downer. I am shamelessly crushing on Edward. I think he is in my top four of book characters with the other three being Holden [The Catcher In The Rye], Sydney Carton [A Tale Of Two Cities], and Sirius Black [Harry Potter]. Holden is a kid with serious issues, Sydney is an alcoholic yet utterly romantic antihero, Sirius is a tortured soul who had a real fucked up life, and Edward is a rather attractive vampire. I am beginning to see a pattern...

I really want to start the next one, but I have vowed not to start New Moon until I have read How To Be Good - Nick Hornby and The Eyre Affair - Jasper Fforde. Will start the Hornby book tonight.

My internet is acting very strangely. *waits for it to explode* I think it's because mum needs to update the antivirus stuff.

Yesterday I started reading Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. It's a modern vampire/human romance thing without being all Mills and Boonesque. And it's set in high school. Frankly, it is pitiful how much this book fills me with fangirlish glee. Seriously, I have to constantly suppress giggles of delight. The last thing that made me this girly was the movie Say Anything. I realise it sounds a little silly but it's fantastic. I fear spontaneous combustion from glee supression.

I have an assignment due tomorrow and I haven't started it. I'm not in the least bit worried lol. Apathy ftw!!!

I've been hit with a sudden urge to move to San Francisco.

This weather is starting to irritate me. It's warmish and sunny during the day, but freezing in the morning and evening. Considering I am either up early for uni or home late from uni, it makes choosing outfits very difficult.

I need to go squeal over this book some more.